Tuesday, November 22, 2011
My local news channel of choice here in San Diego did a story on "Divorce Parties". I didn't watch it. Divorce to me is a traumatic event. My divorce was anything but a celebration. A marriage is an entity in itself, like a person, it takes on a life of its own. Some marriages, if sanctified by God, if nurtured lovingly by both people involved, can be a beautiful relationship. It needs care, time. One person cannot care enough to keep it alive. Divorce, is the sad, desperate attempt to save a cancerous relationship that you know is dying...and you alone, can't stop it. You pray, you beg the other person to help, "please help me make this better". Yet still, it dies, slowly, painfully. It becomes a corpse that you carry around with you daily, trying to revive it. Daily, its cold response alarms you anew. There comes a point where you realize that if you don't let it go, unplug it from your heart, it will deplete your soul, and you'll die with it. There is mourning, rage, fear, failure. There are children who have to deal with the reality that this entity that was their security, unhealthy as it was...still, its dead, they need to learn to grieve and mourn. So, should divorce be celebrated? For some, it may be their way of mourning, for me, I can't bear to think of celebrating the traumatic event that threatened my sanity and delivered a devastating blow to my beautiful children. I couldn't save it alone...it died. I am still alive, my children are alive, I'm safe. For these blessings, I will celebrate.