Deep inside I always knew. What you said and what you did were always different things. Love, you say you still love me. I can't wrap my mind around your definition of love. I was your wife. You were supposed to protect me, love me, cherish me, honor and defend me as Christ does for his church....but you didn't. You became the person I feared most in the world. You became my rapist, my owner, my forced god. I did everything you wanted me to. Even when it hurt, even when it left me bloody and in pain for days. I did it to try to be what you wanted me to be. Hoping that if  I submit more, if I do more, you'll love me like Christ calls you to. You wanted me to believe it was me, obviously there was something wrong with me. But deep down, I knew it wasn't me, it wasn't my fault. What you did to me was not mine to own.

Years went by, and I began to plot and plan an escape. I did, I'm gone. And now, now I find, I have swiftly been replaced. She enjoys all the things you do, you tell me she's a woman. I was and am inadequate to please you. I am expendable and replaceable. I always knew you felt that way. But, you are wrong!Someday, someday God will allow me to be with someone who finds me to be priceless. I know who I am in Christ. I know what I am meant for. I am not meant for your alter, I am not meant to be your property, I am His child, I am worth more than what you see.