I feel like I'm in suspension. I'm dangling here in between a self inflicted demolition, and the hope of a beautiful new construction. There are days when I fear my dreams will be blown away. Then there are days when I believe they are all going to come true. All the time, I'm floating, wondering where God is going to place me next. I have no control, I have given up control, and to be quite honest, it scares the hell out of me sometimes. It shakes me to the core some days. I'm learning to be real, to be vulnerable. There are only two people who I have allowed to see me, there is only Him and him. They are the only ones that have seen these deep, secret places inside me. I am learning to let others in, I'm learning....