This is where my damage shows. There are days when I have to choose to trust the people around me instead of  falling into my fears. For some, trust comes easy, not for me. It's as though it's this piece of me that was shattered intentionally to control me, now I've allowed God to put it back together, I've allowed myself a vulnerability that is so terribly delicate, and raw that I feel like it could shatter again at the smallest perceived betrayal. The slightest thought, or sight of something that could possibly be interpreted as a betrayal causes me to panic for a moment. I swiftly, carefully surround this fragile part of my soul, bracing it for impending breathless devastation. I begin to talk myself through the emotion logically, comparing what is known, and what is perceived, what is real, and what is the Enemy trying to steal from me. This is not an easy task. It's been a struggle for me, considering, I thought I knew who was trustworthy, and it would appear, my closest confidants were not trustworthy. Already this morning, I have had to face my fear and deal with it. I don't know if  I'm completely through it though. I don't know. I need my counsel, my Asylum friends to help me, I think.